What happens when the behaviors that once kept you safe become the very things that hold you back?
For most of my life, I was shaped by silence. I looked for approval to feel worthy, and changed parts of myself to meet others’ expectations—whether from family, culture, or society. I came to see control as love, obedience as safety, and silence as strength. I didn’t know there was another way until the weight of guilt, shame, and buried rage became too heavy to carry.
Gripped is about what happens when you stop running from yourself. It explores the beliefs I inherited, the fear I thought was normal, and the moment I stopped shaping my life around what others expected.
If you’ve ever buried your anger, questioned your worth, or tried to become what others needed you to be, this story is for you. Not because it has all the answers, but because it reminds you that you’re not alone.
Gripped — Available Now
- 🎧 Audiobook coming soon
- Spanish edition in the works
I also host Growing Older Together, where many of these themes continue in conversation. This memoir is just one piece of that larger dialogue, and I’m honored you’re here for it.
Thank you for reading, listening, and sharing my story.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING
Lourdes Valtierra Dirden has written a deeply poignant, personal story. Her poetic use of language helps the reader feel her loss, pain, and trauma. Readers will rejoice as she reconciles her past with the present.
— Beverly Tate, Author, Being Grace
Shining a thoughtful light on culture, gender, and family, Gripped takes the reader through a maze of experiences of a girl’s journey into womanhood. Despite the challenges of her culture and her urban landscape, Lourdes Dirden becomes the woman she needs to be—smart, patient, and talented. With the skills of a thoughtful writer, the author shares the peaks and valleys of experiences that forced her to survive emotionally and to understand the many demands of love.
— Mel Donalson, author of Dream Warrior: Passages of a Creative-Scholar
Reading Lourdes Valtierra Dirden’s “Gripped – The Weight I Refused to Carry,” I felt a connection with her story of childhood trauma and the generational effects of alcoholism—experiences that mirrored my own. Lourdes shares a deeply personal journey of a changing family, focusing on forgiveness and celebrating freedom from the past. She embraces lessons learned and openly acknowledges how important it is to let go of old burdens to move toward a brighter future. Even in difficult times, we can find hope and clarity, honoring those who help guide us forward. It is possible to release the grip of the past and become whole again.
— Teresa Turner